When i was a trainee pharmacist there was this one pregnant assistant who literally blows at everyone for even tiny mistakes. at that time she was taking care of the control meds room where dispensing is strict. u need a prescription with a doc's signature and an additional form with 2 signatures: 1 specialist and 1 consultant as an approval to dispense the so called 'controlled' drug.
She was cheery on certain days. and when she was not heavily pregnant of course. but when she gets heavier and nearing her due date...it's us poor blurry trainees that got spat on most of the time. although she was just the assistant. back then i didnt know how these hormones cud affect someone this much.
Today i can say that i'm almost heavily pregnant, and getting more annoyed as the day progresses. yes, i'm very happy with family life and hubby and our soon to come new addition...but my tolerence for irritation has gotten so low. i get irritated when my questions are not heard properly, when my teaching doesn't work, when people ask me questions many2 times, when i've been told to do something i used to b able to but now i cant, and also tiny2 things like if my foot got stuck while getting out of car door or i accidentally stubbed my toe on something. all these things affect my social skills - i know longer wanna go out to meet people or hang out at gatherings, i like to seat alone at work, and i dont like to stopby for chats anymore, i'm even less friendly to my siblings. all i want is to stay in my room n just.....be alone.
It really isn't a very good personality change. but the truth is, i must agree to what people say..it's not easy at all being pregnant. lucky for me my first trimester was a tolerable one (although i had several crying episodes in the beginning, not vomiting), second trimester was so-so. this current trimester and the final one is the one that gives a huge impact on me. i couldn't do what i used to do although i tried my best to (eg. i try not to waddle like a duck or walk too slow), i forget a lot of stuff thanks to this mummy brain ( cant remember what i said last week), i feel like a hippo with each progressing day (of course, because baby doubles up in size every week in the third trimester), and this morning, i took about 10mins just figuring out what i could wear to work. who wouldn't be irritated, at least just a little bit?
"Are you kidding me? i just want this to be over as soon as possible, i can't stand it anymore!i'm just so tired all the time.." says a fellow colleague of mine who just delivered a beautiful baby girl last may when i dropped by her pharmacy for a baby chat. and when she used to sprint to the carpark every evening with the rest of our colleagues, at that time she walked reeal slow. bet she reached a her car 10mins after we did. back then i was only 6 weeks preggers. still who i was before, energy still there, feeling awesome. now i totally get her...this physiological change can take a toll on everyone, thankfully it wont last too long for me, only 2 and a half months more.
So i'm sorry if i'm a totally different person till i get my baby in november. my workload has just increased at this very bad timing and i still have this heavy tummy to bear. of course i would prioritize baby and family. work always comes second to me. but enduring 8 hours a day is very stressful and harsh on me nowadays.
I have roughly 35days of working days before i get to rest my mind for 90 days. i can't freakin wait.