The first night in the hospital, we were visited by our doctor friend who was incidentally oncall at the urology building that day.
'So be prepared lah. walaupun you're a doctor, your mother in law will always overrule you in managing ur wife's confinement'.
Lucky for daddy radz, his mother in law and mother's out of the country performing hajj when we came home with the baby. so while i was struggling and feeling the blues trying to manage Tia on my own with 'help' (which wasnt really much help at all), he assured me "look at the bright side..at least nobody's telling us what to do and not do"
Memang there are pros and cons on recuperating without the elders around. i remembered tears during the first few days. satu lengan carry baby yang tengah melalak, satu lagi tadah air nak lap baby. satu katil jadi semak samun sebab lepas je siap2kan baby terus nak breastfeed (masa nak breastfeed tu baru 'help' datang-'ehh dah siap kee?'). and not forgetting bringing in the baby monitor and propping it on my soap holder while i bathe with difficulty to avoid water from touching my wound.
Masa awal2 tu bila daddynye balik rumah, he wont let me move around much. he'll fetch me the stuff i need. so to me, i cant wait for 6pm to strike everyday, when my only support comes home to help with tia. the nights are so much better than the day.
During the early days when my nipples hurt so much from breastfeeding, and that day when i decided to introduce the bottle of EBM to Tia, i texted my mom asking her if it's the right thing to do. of course the reply came in many hours after i already introduce the bottle (time difference between middle east and malaysia-8hours). how i wish someone was there to guide me instead of the internet. baby poo change colour-google. baby cannot sleep-google. baby cry so much - google. where to put tia's bellybutton stump after it falls off- google. when she came back 12days ago, she guided tia to latch on me properly. in a better way than my unty taught me. but Tia was already 32 days old.
The nanny and the maid never agreed to each other. i had the nanny come up to me to watch me feed tia and complaining all sorts of thing about my maid. i turned the deaf ear, as if thats the only thing i have to worry about. i mean, it's true that my maid may seem a little dumb dumb at times (many times actually) but after almost a month of the same stories, dah malas nak layan.
The only thing i did during my confinement was a little bit of massage. this person was recommended by my mom. she told me 'she can also talk to you so you wont get the blues'. so..yup. massage was only done in areas not involving the tummy. but it's good cuz it increased a little bit of my milk production. this one was a problem too. cuz 4 days after i got home from the hospital, i had to carry tia in her coccoon all the way to mum's room where i do the massage and prayed hard that she wont wake up while i was being massage. padahal 2 helpers were downstairs doing God knows what.
Days when daddy radzli's on leave...he had to go to our Sentul home to organize and arrange the furnitures given by his parents instead of standing by with me and baby. thats another story altogether.
Now confinement is almost over. my parents are back. the sentul house is almost ready. i get better at bathing tia. like what they say, God will grant every hardship with ease. this experience was a very difficult one for me. but it made me stronger. however it makes it pretty hard for me and radzli to open up our minds to agree with the changes my mom demanded in babycare when she got home. no offense but to ask to change after one month is a tad too late.
I have the urge to write this post upon seeing my mom having a baby conversation with Tia. tia all wide eyed and smiling so often listening to my mom's high pitched baby talk. this happy moment didnt just come easy in a day. there was hardship to bring us to this day that tia is able to smile and respond to us like a real human being.
We are coping well, and hoping to move out very soon. need to stock up the fridge with food, buy a stove and put up curtains and we're almost ready to go:)