-First 4 days of this week were spent in the hospital. Doctors wont discharge mummy until they do a wound inspection on the 3rd day.
-2nd night was the most exhausting night i can remember. baby Tia didn't sleep. keeps on waking up for milk. being in the government hospital, i have no other supply except for my own breastmilk. i was just starting to mobilize after they took out the urine bag. hubby slept on 2 combined armchairs and handed the baby to me everytime she cries.
-3rd day - told staff nurse i might not have enough milk cuz she keeps on crying for more and was told 'eh jangan cakap gitu! mesti ada susu..nanti psychological, betul2 takde. kena yakin!'
-Tia looked a little yellow. daddy took her blood himself to send it to the lab. saddest moment everr. daddy cant find a vein for the first try and tia cried and cried. 2nd attempt was a success. result came in ok, can monitor at home.
-4th day - discharged! went home to a nicely assembled baby crib by my beloved aunty and grandma. was given a briefing on how to bathe, washup and change baby's diapers.
-5th day til the end of the week: felt better to sleep in own bed again. back still hurts like crazy but felt better against my mattress. Tia wakes up every 2-3 hours at night for milk. daddy and i both wake up. daddy change diaper, i do feeding.
-The house feels empty without my parents.
-I've started to pump breastmilk every 2 hours because from what i read it could increase supply.
-Was a bit frustrated because i cudnt walk downstairs and had to scream from the bottom of my lungs for my maid or the nanny (who was assigned to take care of us while parents are away)
-Getting to know tia better. night feedings were loong 45 mins-1 hour before she falls asleep. i think this was when i started getting restless and decide to give expressed breastmilk during night feeds.
-Daddy bathes Tia every evening when he gets home from work. i pushed myself to wipe her down in the morning. at week 2, without help because the maid was unreachable when called, nanny went back to opah's house.
-I eat seaweed soup everyday.
-My nipples hurt from direct feeds.
-Learnt how to dress Tia up without feeling scared that i would break her. getting her into rompers are piece of work. but achievable. she looks adorable in them anyway.
-Got better at changing diapers.
-My nipples hurt so bad (dont know from pumping or from bad latchings) that i thought i caught the fungal infection. had electric like shooting pains from the nipple, along my breast up to my chest. only the right one.
-Started full bottle feed due to the pain, til my grandma came and told me better give direct cuz the pain might be from engorgement. gave direct. felt a wee bit better. hmm.
-Our cat shea still visits my room. not to meet baby but to explore our new stuff. one day climbed and sniffed all baby's sterilized bottles and got prohibited from entering our room from then on.
-Food was the same every single day: masak asam.nasi.seaweedsoup.masak asam.nasi.seaweedsoup.
-Came up with a technique to prevent Tia from crying in the middle of the night - switch on bottle warmer when we hear these sounds : ehh.ehh.ehh.
-Same ol routine everyday with baby. but got better at it, at least.
-Tried to direct feed again. luckily tia isn't really nipple confused (i think) but she still nurses very very long and still comes off hungry. i suspect my milk flow is slow. (ok but maybe she's already nipple confused too).
-Combined the feeding of expressed breast milk and direct feeding. still no formula supplement.
-Tia was swaddled, but not tightly. mainly for her feeling of security but not so that her legs grow straight. hubby said we shouldnt do that to prevent hips displasia.
-Tia is slowly focusing on things and people. perhaps her vision has gotten clearer.
-We recognized her night routines already - she wakes up at 1am, 4.30am, 6.30am.
-Tia can already wear her 3months old rompers. newborn ones stil ok but tight and mommy doesnt know how to take them off her.
-Tia's Oni, Opah and Atuk finally arrives home from Haj but they couldnt touch or come near Tia because they were coughing.
-Nanny went back to my grandma's house. my mom peeps into my room with a mask once in awhile.
-Brought Tia for her first checkup. went to KKIA Pandan Dalam. saw all these people queuing and undressing their babies and weighing them themselves. told hubby no way. we're going to a private clinic.
-Tia had her HepB jab. she cried like nobody's business. mommy assured her. amateurly:-/
-Food got better cuz my mom's home. ikan haruan soup, ikan haruan bakar with air asam, chicken with mushrooms, garlic and ginger. awesome.
-Had our first family photoshoot in the living room while Tia couldnt sleep. but she fell asleep after only a few shots.
-She is more interactive. more 'aihh's and 'aa's and a little smile on our lucky days:)
-I caught the flu. maybe from my mom. but i cant tell her otherwise she wont come near me anymore. but recovered in a day.
-Joined this support group for breastfeeding mothers in facebook and got stressed out with all their 'tuaian' photos. how big must your boobs be to have 5oz in each breast? i'm actually still against posting up boobs discharge for the public to see. (sebenarnye org mcm i mmg stress tgk gambars macam tu cuz i can only pump 2oz from both after she feeds.)
-Tried direct feeding at nights so that more milk can be stimulated out. but ended up bursting into tears one night because tia cant sleep cuz she's still hungry after i directfed her for 1hour plus. hubby had to console a crying baby and a crying wife.
-surrendered and bought formula milk for emergencies or moments where i got stressed out about low production.
-finally laid off the obsession and frustration on breastfeeding. kalau ada, breastfeed. kalau takde, formula. apa susah.
-Tia got smarter. she cries very LOUDly to make us give her milk faster. akibatnye kadang2 dia dapat cold expressed breastmilk.
-Tia caught my flu:( we bought the Nosefrida nasal aspirator and sucked up her mucus everyday. she hates it too.
So that was the first 42 days of Tiana Jezmine. the first month. she gets more adorable and smarter everyday. i bond with her more and more everyday. we learn from each other everyday. atrust me, taking care of a newborn is tough. but all the hardship tends to go away when she flashes you a smile or coos to you. excuse me while i go give her a kiss while she's sleeping!:)