Tuesday, February 14, 2012

My Cesaerean Section.

My caesarian section wasn't a planned one.
As far as i could remember, i did evrything possible to enable myself to deliver baby Tia naturally. yoga, pilates once a week then twice a week when almost due, walk to and fro from one corner of HKL to the other, walk up and down the stairs to fetch medicine for patients, window shopping almost every other day.

So see, i tried.

However, i guess God has plans for me and baby. when He says this is gonna happen, it will happen.
Everything that doctor predict would be the cause of an emergency c-sect for me did.not.happen.
Cord around neck. Baby's head still floating above my pelvic bone at 38 weeks. 
Nada. none of the above.
Slow progress wasnt a problem either. when usually it takes an hour to go from 1cm to another, i progressed from 4-6cm in 20minutes that night.

But fate had it, my contractions got super strong, they told me i couldnt get my epidural, i started grabbing the nurses' scrubs. then that was when her heartrate goes down to 50beats/min for a minute or so before they urged me to go for the emergency csection.

Because the anaesthetist wasnt available at that time...and i dont know if this is the case in all governmnt hospitals..i had general anaesthesia. blacked out. then tadaa. a baby. it does feel like a blessing to me at that time that i was in so much pain but do i feel robbed from my first childbirth experience? yes. sometimes i feel that way. and thanks to that, the 2nd childbirth in the future wud probably feel like the first time.

Caesarian Section Pain
To be honest, i did not remember the pain of my recovery. the first few days. until now i did not remember any pain. yes i was hooked to a PRN morphine. but i clicked it for a total of only 7x.tu pun at the sliiightest pain. i was mobilizing the moment they took out the urine catheter from me. i can move, although slowly from my bed to the baby case to get my baby for breastfeeding. the feeling of ur guts are gonna fall out is there, definitely. but bearable.

The Awful Urine Catheter
I hated the urine catheter. they inserted it when i was in a lot of pain from the contractions that i managed just a little gasp when they shoved it in. i remembered it being shoved in. thanks very much. this one needs recovery too. burning when urinating up to 2 weeks postpartum. people with epidural will have to use the bag too.

I did not bathe for 2 weeks after the surgery. totally smelled the first 4 days in the hosp haha. when i came home i did wipedowns for 2 days and decided to bathe cuz my hair got so greasy. bathe doesnt mean fully shower. it was a bad experience. i showered from my hip down.and how did i wash my hair? throw my head forward, shampooed n rinsed only the hair. sakit leher okay. and then i wiped from neck down to the top of incision. for about a month i think.

Postpartum Tummy
I think like everyone else, on the second day after delivery, the postpartum tummy will still look pregnant. mine looked like about 2 month pregnant. but difference with natural birth, mine hung uglily like an apron above my scar. i cudnt see the scar from top or in thr mirror. because there was loose flab or skin covering it.now the tummy has shrunk a bit. and this is how it looks like. prepare yourselves for gruesome photos. 

tested out my bikini bottom.scar was nicely cut and done by the doctor exactly on my bikini line. what's left is the bulging tummy that i need to get rid of by hopefully, abs exercises.
These photos are 3 months postpartum. hubby took pic of my fresh wound after they took off the gauze but i deleted it from my phone cuz i thought it looked really gruesome at that point of time. 

So.

Yes i am upset that my linea nigra (the dark line that goes vertically across the belly button) is still there and is taking its own sweet time to fade. and of course the scar. permanent like a tattoo, spread 6 inches across my bikini line. except that it's uglier than a tattoo. but i guess i cud use it to insafkan my kids in the future. "the doctor slit mummy's tummy to bring you out. i was on the operating table with my guts exposed to get you into this world. this is a battlescar". haha. excuse the belly ring kay. i just put it back on as a motivation to slim down and cuz the piercing scar looks ugly without it.


Wound Healing.
Superficially took about a month to seal up, 2 and a half month to dry up and for me to gain back my confidence to be a little bit more active. somewhere around the first month, hubby noticed that the corner of the incision wasnt sealed properly-the crust came off and left what seemed to me, a gaping hole. freaked me out a little bit thinking that it might need to be sewn again. hubby cleaned the wound twice a day using sterilized gauze and normal saline and thought me to do it on my own. tried to keep it as dry as possible and alhamdulillah, it's now sealed nicely.

Apparently the insides wont heal that fast so..i am a bit frustrated that i am pretty much still disabled until the next few months or maybe even a year. 

Gap for 2nd baby
This one memang i shouldnt think about yet. yes i am still traumatized by the whole experience. however it is better to know beforehand about these things. the ampang putri consultant told me that in any pregnancy, natural or caesarian, u must only conceive after 2 years. but if earlier, its okay. they have to monitor. uterine rupture risk is 1%. i actually want my kids to be 2 years apart..

Incision Scar After 3 Months
At 3 months postpartum, i'm still not allowed to carry heavy stuff to prevent wound breakdown. it's a bit frustrating for me. this morning i saw someone struggle to push her dad on a wheelchair and i couldnt help her. bummer. and i have to ask favors from people which i dont like doing. it's stil painful, as in burns once in awhile. many times itchy. skin directly on top and bottom is still numb, waiting for new nerves to grow.

Postpartum Check
I saw a specialist in ampang putri who checked out my scar and ultrasound scanned the layers underneath it. he actually already gave me a green light to exercise, do some abs and swim. so i think im gonna start maybe next month.i'm desperate to lose my little bit of mother's apron before it gets worse..i was also told that my scar is a bit hypertrophic and recommended me to get this sillicone gel called Dermatix Ultra. tapi tunggu dulu la. macam tengah tak cukup duit.

So i guess thats all on my experience with a c-section. both kind of deliveries has its pros n cons i guess. u have no choice but to sacrifice either ur bikini line or your vahjayjay. sigh like women r kind of created to be destroyed. aha. but people really shud treat us with respect. look at what we have to go through:)

Oklah. this post has gotten too lengthy. so till the next one!

much love, Sab.

2 comments:

  1. hi :) hope u dont mind me following your blog. i too, underwent a c-sect for my first, but my frustrations with it lie more in the fact that it could have been avoided had i been more vocal (it was elective, not emergency like yours). oh, the reason why you got GA was because of fetal bradycardia... baby's heart rate dropped too low that there was no time for the usual spinal anaesthesia... i work in anaest hkl so i know :p

    just delivered my second one via vbac lasts saturday too. here's to good recovery to both of us!

    -fellow hkl worker

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  2. oh no hehe alamak my sentences must have caused some misunderstandings...i am aware that i was under GA because the epidural onset is too slow to save the baby..i was just disappointed that i didnt get epidural when i have set my mind for it..and perhaps if i do, who knows, i wont be as stressed out and my contractions wont feel as strong that wud lead to the fetal brady.

    u did 2nd one via vbac?i would love to know the experience! how was it?

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