I always get these wishes/comments when pregnant:
"Congrats! enjoy your pregnancy!"
"Nice! i miss being pregnant..."
" Aw that bump! comel je mommy"
But i always wonder how is it possible to feel pretty when pregnant?
My skin doesnt glow. with tia, yes but this time?not that i notice.
I started off with a pre pregnancy weight heavier than Tia's pre pregnancy weight..so i'll probably balloon more.
I have these veins on my chest..n hey all over the boobs too. now how am i supposed to feel confident in front of hubby? oh and i see some spiderwebs on my legs which havent been there a few months ago.
The bump is restricting me from doing a lot of things. but whatever. i still slide down that long arse slide in junglegym with Tia.
|veins on chest? yeah, something like mischa burton. lol.|
And what am i like when pregnant?
like aall the time.
and i hate it when i'm like that cuz everyone around me gets affected...even tia, which i dont mean to:(
But i'm still working on that one...it wasnt her fault that her mommy's pregnant. she still needs to be carried, she still needs someone to wrestle n play with her. and i have no room for exhaustion. it's okay. I'm gonna give all i can, and my best. see even this made me emo.
2. Sensitive with people's words.
People really have to be careful with me when talking...cuz i even have friends walk away. you know, unworthy, not understandable ones. but goes to show, which are the true ones and which are not.
3. Lone buffalo.
I prefer to do things by myself. eat alone, go outings with tia alone. and i dont even care about people around me.i dont eat in the pantry anymore but on my own table at the office, i dont give out friendly Hi!'s anymore.Just felt like being alone most of the time.
3 basic attitudes that's different pre and during pregnancy, which i like at all. and 9 months is like a whole year. after that, post partum meroyan pulak. so all in all, sabrina is not herself for the entire year.
which also makes me think twice or trice to go above 2 kids.
for now, i would like to consider it a done deal...and life targets reached. 2 kids of 2 years gap, and a possibility of a girl and a boy.:)
However, i do feel good that i am actually doing something for mankind, and assisting Allah in producing another human being. Every scan at the obsgyn is an amazing one- a tiny person moving about inside you, depending on your food intake for nutrients, depending on ur shelter. and when tia sleeps at night...i held her tiny hand in mine and examine those little fingers and remembering how tiny they were when she was freshly out of my womb, and how those fingers actually developed inside me, from tiny limb buds to this perfect arm, hand, fingers. it's a magical feeling, and somehow because of that, only that, makes me feel good about being a mother. and makes me feel slightly better about myself since nowadays i feel pretty much like a useless person.
Till then, readers (if there is any at all).....take care:) x