Thursday, September 19, 2013

A little bit on parenthood, preaching, and sharing.

Oh boy I do analize and think a lot when I'm pregnant:)
By the way I'm 31 weeks today. congrats sabby. congrats baby, on making it...please be perfect and healthy and complications free for at leeast another 9 weeks k? Cuz mommy gets worried about things she can't see. Dont play too much with ur cord, and stir free from any loops, unlike ur kakak ok?haha

So...about preaching.

I know motherhood and parenting is tough. and everyone copes in many different ways.
For first time moment ure cuddling with your husband and go for dates everywhere...then bam you gave birth, bring back a bundle of crying, high demand joy...and life just changed.
Your perspective on work changed, sometimes u get jealous of ur other half when they spend too much time with the baby, u sacrifice ur hobbies...that sorta thing.

Because life changed so much, your coping mechanism drives you to do a bunch of research, apply it and when it works..proud of it. 

Or you worked so hard you expect other moms to work as hard too. remember that it's ok to expect, but not insult.

Examples are moms who preach on breastfeeding, vaccination, natural foods. too extreme that they post status here and there, insulting moms who don't go hand in hand with them, like they're all that. oh yeah kan, i can choose to unfollow their statuses. hehe.

I remembered when i was panicking as a first time mom and struggling through breastfeeding, asked a forum on facebook about bottle warmer and got sarcastic remarks on it. geez and they call themselves support group. a frustrated extremist friend of mine marah2 mommies who claim they have no milk on the first 3 days upon delivery on her status. something like "rasa mcm nak cekik je diorg ni, placenta tinggal dalam perut 3 hari ke?" yeh, i dont understand that statement but... unfollow lah.

Not that I have anything against these people...but every moms have their own reasons of doing something, of bringing up their own kids. at their own risks, of course.every single move you make exposes u to some kind of risk anyway. There is no right or wrong in parenting, may it be proper or accidental (as quoted by Tracey Hoggs).

Some mommies chose to formula be it.
Some mommies chose to feed only organic stuff to their kids or feed sugarsugarsugar. so be it.
Some mommies chose to teach their kids by the book, so be it.
Some mommies put their babies to sleep in seperate room, or seperate beds, be it.

Cuma yang paling pantang, is when other kids grab toys from another kid, or hurt another kid. I just cant help but go into mata terbeliak mode, mama bear protecting the cub mode. if i see that happen to tia i'd probably heartachingly wanting to grab the toy back myself (but of course i wont do that cuz im an adult, pssh), give that kid a glare and take my kid as far away from that bad influence of a child. hiks. that, memang i admit, is the extremist part of me. please teach your children to share, and that smacking, biting other kid is wrong. if one child does it, the one who got smacked or bit will repeat it to another kid. and the cycle will go on. it's a contagious defense mechanism. stop it, so other kids wont have to learn it the hard way or be stronger because of yours. i dont know how ure gonna stop it, but just do it ok, cuz it involves anak org lain jugak.
The best I could teach tia now is to either learn to let go of the object of interest another kid desires/grab (which she has been doing all the while...ish lemah) or kalau ikutkan nak suruh hold tight, dont surrender and screeeeeeeeaaaam. dont hit. dont pull hair. hepp. haha. but no, should share and play together. i know it's tough, and even i had a problem with sharing as a child but like i said, try lah kan. mana tau boleh ajar.and don't take other people's things unless they offer.

image source: getty images

I have been to a house last raya where a boy keep on bringing out his awesome toys to show off to tia but wont let her come near. so i brought out tia's ipad to distract her and hey there he comes with his own ipad. i was like...ok...and to another house whereby the two kids would bring out their toys and offered tia to play together. what angels...i hope tia would turn out to be that way too..insyaAllah.

But I do understand that like I said, every kid is brought up in a different way by different parents. and also may i add, I have only one kid as of now and i wouldnt know if having a pair very soon would change our way of upbringing or tia's behaviors. Because apparently some kids, including me have become more offensive over our own toys when a little sibling comes along. moga-moga dibimbing Allah all the way. amin.

Honestly dont know where this post is going but i have racing thoughts one after the other and just wanna put it down. apa-apa pun, parenthood is not easy, and there never is a right or wrong way to go about it, asalkan everyone survives and lives in peace within each others company. :)

Cheers, everyone.



  1. Great post sabby. had had my share of breastfeeding blues during pantang days. i was at my limit to meroyan..due to pressure from in-laws to exclusive breastfeed my baby.

    rasa nak nangis. rasa nak mati pun ada during those times. because ppl judgmental against you.

    thankgoodness my mom kept my thoughts sane. alhamdulillah. btw, take care and have blissful pregnancy ahead! :)

  2. aha... i want my twins to share their toys... at first i bought everything 2 but different colors. Now when their a yr and half... its very hard for me to teach them to share their things. its obvious that both of them only wants whats the other twin holding. maybe their still too young... but i hope they do share their toys huhuhu


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