Even I didnt think that I could make it this far. People say 2nd baby usually arrives earlier than due date so we (or I) were very ready to welcome little RJ into our arms since I touched week 37 of this pregnancy.
But up til now? no baby yet. Little RJ is getting a little bit too comfy in this tummy, and perhaps a bit scared to come out and meet big sister TJ who nowadays has been very vocal and i think even from inside the tummy she sounded like she's making a havoc in the house. hehe. mommy would love RJ to know that kakak is fun to play with so come out quick ok!
My mom has been asking tia to touch my tummy and said "Come out now baby!"
Week 37-40 or the these last 3 months seem to the longest months to wait for, ever. Baby RJ is still not engaged, floating above my pelvis at week 39. which means that little full term legs are still kicking at my ribs and occasionally i wake up in the middle of the night feeling nauseas or heartburn. been bouncing on the birth ball for that. same thing happened with tia last time. engaged during labor.
Pregnancy this time is not so different from the time when i carried tia. maybe in terms of exhaustion, yes this is more, maybe because i had to take care of tia as well (I almost fell down the stairs while chasing tia who confidently climbed the stairs on her own yesterday and ended up with a bruise), there wasnt any vomiting at all. there wasnt edema alhamdulillah. but if labor is the same soon, i'm probably gonna be dead. i dont believe God lets u go off that easy, esp when i think i havent done much good and have a lot of sins.
Had an MRI the other day to get a green light for VBAC. and found that my pelvic measurements are a little bit too small and my tailbone curved in like the letter J. I dont know if thats related but i thought it looked a bit weird. Dr Ashar never pushed us for a csect, and told us its ok to try, but there is a noted risk of failing again, like when i had tia. in a sense that i might be experiencing a long labour a great amount of pain only to find that baby is stuck in the pelvis and a csect has to be done. he also added that we should probably try for normal now, cuz he would not encourage a VBAC after a 2nd csect. and to make the pain worth it, he recommended on epidural. I have no problem on epidural so here we are....we'll be trying VBAC with epidural. Doakan semua selamat and berjaya k...
Baby RJ is doing ok on the other hand..in my opinion he should be out by now already cuz when we scanned last monday he was already 2.8-2.9kg=/ now that is scary cuz estimated weight will most probably be even bigger than tia. tia was 3.2kg.uwaa. next mon if tak keluar lagi and scan size is 3++ i think we'll just csect him out...no way im pushing a baby that big out of my vjayjay that eherm...might spoil my entire sex life. lol. pardon me. plus i dont mind a csect since i already have the scar. maybe more work for the docs cuz of all the adhesions but....if u have to go for it then u have to lah.
|Week 39...waiting and waiting.|
I've started my maternity leave, using my annual leaves. like 13 days of it. and i can tell you it is so bloody satisfying. I get to play dollhouse and playdoh and paint all day with tia. and its nice to be there when she wakes up and thruout the day and be there whenever she calls 'mommy'. I do get a lot of help from my mom and tia's bibik...but it feels good to just be present.
ok to be honest, I am anxious, waiting for the day. i have no signs whatnot just yet. its like u wish to deliver now but ure just plain scared. what's going to happen this time around? and all your fate belongs in Allah's hands. whether ur birth is a pleasurable one, pleasant one, another ugly episode.....its really not for us to predict. Bismillahitawakaltu Alallah. Ya Allah, please make it easy on me this time...
So will update again when little RJ decided to say hi to the world!
Til then, cheers everyone, and I would like to humbly ask for your prayers...