Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Remember, head over heels.

Remember how you are head over heels with each other?

oh, of course before you've been taken over and directed by your little seedlings.

Remember how you look forward and dress up for dinner dates, feel special, movie nights, or just sit and talk? or how you feel safe and 'protected' when he held your hand everywhere? those anniversaries that are celebrated because they felt special to both of you?

I remember. and i still wish nothing changed even after kids. because honestly, kids will grow up and get married and move out, sometimes wont even visit. and what i really fear is you are left with that person you started your life with, disconnected for so many years and by the time you need each other again you're like....who is this old dude?

We've changed. like it or not. busy immersing ourselves in jobs, handling kids and side jobs that we forgot each other. how are we going to set an example to our kids? to be loveable towards your partner in life, and always prioritise each other. 

Or am i the only one who has been feeling like this?

I have this bad habit of leaving or quitting when i feel bored, when things get too tricky. but this, is marriage. u just dont quit. u just need extra patience to tolerate each other even if you cant stand each other. I am so bored right now, to be honest. but nauzubillah i shouldnt be. maybe it is the midnight talking. its late, and u tend to overthink.

When Riz grows up, mommy wants Riz to treat his wife like a trophy, make her feel special and cared for, and of course, while not forgetting the mommy. I want Tia to try to find someone as loving as the daddy, so she could feel special till she has all her grey hair. because i have memories of how my dad cared so much for my mom and will always back her up, have her side, protect her. my mother never had to struggle managing a lot of things on her own because my dad would do everything for her. I need her to have all these memories.

I can see this post is getting nowhere, cuz its really very late and i am sleepy. i am completely sober when typing this. all i need to say is...dont change. remember who you used to fall in love so madly with, and just...dont change.


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