Thursday, October 29, 2015

Mommy struggles..


Omg how i miss blogging! October to Decembers are usually packed with birthdays so i've been getting so many birthday outfit orders that there are times i feel like it's beyond me. And do note that, the definition of "so many" is not based on the profits i get, but more on the time that i had to squeeze in aside of other daily routine.

There is a quote saying that "Allah SWT will provide from where you can't even imagine". I believe in this 100%. Everyone would agree it's not very easy to get adjusted to not being financially independent after resigning a job that pays so well before. There was also a statement from Tan Sri Rafidah Aziz saying that,

Unfortunately, this ultimate level of contentment of being a pharmacist ended right after Tia was born. I asked for transfer to work in a Ministry Office with a permanent decision that if this doesn't make me happy, or work out for me, then it is time to resign and leave. I guess it's true that right after you have kids, whether you're a big fan of kids or you're not, your mother instincts WILL kick in, and your happiest place is with the kids no matter how difficult they are to manage.

I was lucky to have a degree in Pharmacy because we can resort to part time jobs using your license. so i've been earning a little bit of that, and most of my efforts are spent on my lil tutu and personalized tshirt shop Sabbytia. I LOVE crafting my orders. I treat every order as a rezeki and i feel disappointed when i can't cater to all. I can't even answer all the whatsapps because the kids are watching me. Tia just laid down in her bed before bedtime and tapped on my old iphone saying that "oh mommy always do this before bed". So in order to make things work, i can only start work after the kids are asleep. During the day, someone would run away with my fabric paints on pretext of learning his colours (arranges all the paint and say out the colours one by one), little fingers would jab the screen of my sewing machine, requests for manicures, for a snack, for susu, and etcetra, you know the drill. As a result, I stay up til 2am every night, and i am sorry that if the kids wake up at night, husband needs to tend to them because i just.won't.wake.up. i can't hear them actually. alah be fair la, he needs to bond with the kids anyway:P 

I have to constantly remind myself as to why i work so hard for Sabbytia:

#1 I need the money. unless husband can provide a specific amount every month then alright, i can filter out the orders, sleep a bit earlier, wake up happier instead of grumpiness, and start cooking and ironing again. don't get me started on that pile of laundry. I am just grateful that husband sends them all to the laundrette and iron clothes sendirian berhad. I do try to iron his clothes when i can, because yes i am aware of that saying -a man who iron his own clothes is a man who is not loved. i love him. that's why i push myself sometimes. well, maybe 20% of the time. at least! hun, there are many other ways to show love.

#2 It's my stress reliever. After a long day of monotonous work around the house, i create something and the outcome just makes whatever's bugging me, go away. 

A lot of people may think that oh bestnye SAHM sempat main jahit-jahit, masak-masak, takyah bangun pagi rush gi office, boleh sambung cuddle2 anak atas katil. truth? if we want to sew, it has to be into the late night. the cuddle part? kids go to school. u have to wake up and prepare everything. boy i wish we could cuddle til 10am! but if we do, kids will have no lunch cuz mommy doesn't cook.

So you see, there really is no easy option of being a lady. FTWM, SAHM, WAHM. none are easy tasks. each has to juggle everything at one go. each is as demanding as the other. FTWM works their ass off and come back for more housework, BUT you can afford a helper and a lot of luxuries. SAHM works their asses off for the family, for the home, too much that it gets monotonous and you crave for some kind of social interaction. BUT you get to work in the comfort of your own home, and set your own standards without having the boss eyeing you judgementally. WAHM also does it all, but mind you, it is NOT EASY to work whether on the sewing machine or laptop unless you stay up burning the midnight oil. 

All the same, as a mother, you complain about getting very little time with your kids, or too much time with them. no in betweens unless you are one of those who can afford a helper, but that also based on experience, you tend to get jealous when your kid wants the maid instead of you.

Lets all take one step at a time, go with the flow. appreciate your loved ones and be grateful for the rezeki that is brought to you. Good luck!

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